I interrupt my “Weighing In” blogging for Mother’s Day.  I can’t let this day pass without getting some stuff off my chest about being a mom.  Let me warn you up front.   I’m Thinking Out LOUD here and it is not politically correct.  If you are into political correctness, than please turn up the volume.  You need your politically correct nonsense challenged when it comes to being a  mom.  I know this is a vehement opening but I am vehemently passionate about this matter.  Don’t tune out just yet.  I think some of you will be standing up and cheering at the end.

This past week I picked up the May 2009 Ladies Home Journal while waiting in the doctor’s office.  I began to read the article entitled “Go Ahead, Jump!”  The article is all about taking risks.  Now before I tell you more.  Keep in mind this is the May edition.  You know the month that Mother’s Day falls in.  Well as I continued reading the article there was a real-life example of a woman who took some risks in her life, overcame her fears, went back to college and fulfilled her dream of becoming a librarian.  Sounds warm and fuzzy, right?  Let me tell you what her motivation was.  Below is a quote from the article.  Words in bold are my emphasis.

“…Boston mom Victoria Lane asked herself those questions when she thought about going back to school after her daughter was out of diapers.  ‘I really wanted to have an identity other than being a mom,’ she says. ‘I wanted to become a librarian…’  Sitting in the car while her daughter was in music class one day, Lane burst into tears, ‘It was the one-millionth car trip and I thought, Who am I?’ she remembers.  ‘How will my daughter see me – as a chauffeur?’  It was the breaking point for Lane…”

Now before I let you in on my thoughts, I have a question.  Does that rub any of you the wrong way?  I was enraged when I read those words.  Now, don’t get me wrong.  I don’t think there is anything wrong with moms having an identity other than mom.  It is the disdain for simply being a mom that I loathe.  As though, you are a sub-woman because all you do is motherhood.  I also realize being a stay-at-home mom is not a reality for many women due to the high cost of living.   But do you hear the disdain in her questions?  She was worried her daughter would think less of her because she was simply a mom.  I’ve never heard a child complain because their mom was only a mom. 

I will be the first to admit that being a mother is the hardest thing I have ever done.  It is also the most selfless thing I have ever done.   As well as the most thankless.  I have to admit my Mom sure made it look easy.  I am constantly looking back to my childhood to see how I’m measuring up.  She is my measuring stick.  And in my opinion, herein lies the reason for so many women disdaining the role of motherhood.  It is hard, it is selfless, and it is thankless in the short-term.  It doesn’t get the recognition it deserves.  It doesn’t reap instant rewards.  The instant feedback is a defiant 2 year old who has just learned to say “NO” and uses it as often as possible.  Combine all of that with a societal culture that views stay-at-home moms as a waste of talent and you have women all over having an identity crisis.  Who am I?  For heaven’s sake, get over yourself.  You’re a Mother!  Isn’t that enough?

One of the most amazing things that comes up in every premarital counseling session my husband does is that every woman struggles with whether or not she is going to stay home with her children.  My husband has taken to asking this question, “Would you rather use all your gifts and talents to be make someone else a lot of money, would you rather use all your gifts and talents to better other people’s children in a classroom or would you rather use all of your gifts and talents to mold, shape, and build the best in your OWN children?”  Put that way, doesn’t it seem like a NO-BRAINER?  Yet society says if we stay home and raise our own children, we are wasting ourselves.  What is wrong with using all you’ve got and investing it in your children? 

If I have so much to offer the world, you better believe I’m going to make sure I use it to grow the most glorious, responsible, well-mannered, character-laden adults you’ve ever seen.  That’s my contribution to society.  And, I’m not ashamed to call myself Mom, a stay-at-home one at that. 

I want my kids to remember me chauffeuring them around.  I want them to remember me doing yet another load of laundry.  I want them to remember me making lunch.  I want them to remember me sewing the button on their shirt.  I want them to remember me taking them to the park.  I want them to remember me reading Amelia Bedelia just one more time.  I want them to remember me grocery shopping.  I want them to remember me in the every day mundane.  I want them to remember me being Mom.  I want to be their measuring stick one day when they are moms.

So if you ask me, “Who are you? What do you do?”  I will proudly answer, “I’m a Mom”.  I hope all you mothers out there will do the same.  Happy Mother’s Day!

 

 

So my coworker and I joined Weight Watchers.  As I stated before, my husband decided this time he was going to do it with me.  Now he didn’t officially join.  But he did everything I did.  He tracked his food, measured it, counted out the Teddy Grahams, weighed weekly, split meals with me at the restaurant, and lost weight with me.  Of course, over 3 months he lost 30 pounds and I lost 18.  (Why do men always lose more than women in the same amount of time?  I’m going to have to ask God about that one.  Now those of you who know the medical reasoning for that, please don’t send me a lengthy dissertation on the subject.  I’m just Thinking Out LOUD here and I don’t really want to turn up the volume on that phenomenon.  I just want EQUALITY!)  I was literally workin’ my butt off with my cardio-sculpting workout video and HE WASN’T EVEN EXERCISING!  

We lost weight and we were really feeling good about ourselves.  We went out to California for a visit and my parents were shocked when they picked us up at the airport.  We managed to surprise them and never even hinted that we were on a weight loss regimen.  We had a great visit and headed back to Kansas.  It was just a few weeks later that we relocated to California where my husband accepted his pastorate.  We arrived svelte and it all went downhill from there.  

See with Weight Watchers we lost weight but we really didn’t change our eating habits.  We controlled our portions but we still ate all the wrong things.  My attitude about food hadn’t changed.  I would save enough points every day for my sweets.  I would save enough for the day of my weigh in to reward myself with a candy bar if I had lost weight that week.  Without fail, every week I would head to the store after my weigh in and buy a low-point candy bar.  Usually a Caramello.  I would then draw myself a hot bath and savor my candy bar while soaking, all the while thinking how much I deserved it.  We ate ice cream every night.  Skinny Cows, of course.  But we would save enough points to eat 2!

After arriving back in California, we started slipping on our food tracking and our portions.  We started teaching Bible studies where people would feed us entire meals.  Sometimes we  had several Bible studies in one day and we would eat at all of them.  It would have been rude to not eat.   Slowly, the weight began to creep on.   And then, I got pregnant!  Well, all bets were off then.  I was suppose to gain weight.  And I was so good, I gained 40 pounds.

After the birth of Jessica, she and I both had a lot of health issues.  Losing weight wasn’t a priority for me.  I lost about 3o of those pounds over the next year or so.  But I wasn’t really focused on losing my weight.  I didn’t even try.  I kept 10 extra pounds on and carried them every where I went.  Okay, maybe it was more like 15.  I didn’t like the weight but I also wasn’t motivated to do anything about it.  Jessica was about 2 1/2 years old when I ran across a book entitled Food and Loveby Gary Smalley.  It rocked my world!  He mentioned a book that had been revelatory for him.  After reading his book, I ran out and bought What Would Jesus Eat by Dr. Don Colbert.    These two books started my research about food and its effects on the body.  I was horrified at what I had been doing to my body.  My eating habits were destructive.  Weight was no longer the issue but the overall health of my body became my focus.   I was still having a lot of gastric issues and I thought maybe I needed to work on my diet and food habits to put an end to the ongoing issues.

This research led me to the idea of detox diets.  Not so much for the weight, but to cleanse the impurities from my system.  In June 2006 I did the Master Cleanse for the first time.  It is also known as the Lemonade Diet.  Keep in mind here, my focus wasn’t about weight loss.  It was for cleansing.  After 10 days, I felt so much better.  My skin was clearer, I didn’t look bloated in my face and I was down about 8 or 9 pounds.   I kept most of the weight off and I continued reading all I could about food.  My bookshelf today has a whole section dedicated to food books.  And, I don’t mean cookbooks.  Although, I have those too.  That entire summer I radically changed my eating habits for the healthier.  I was now a Whole Foods shopper.   A real granola cruncher of sorts.  I tried new recipes.  I spouted the virtues of organic to anyone who would listen.   And, I did feel better. 

In August of 2006, I did the Master Cleanse again.  Our church was going on a week long fast and I figured mine would be the Cleanse.   By now my weight was getting down to where I was much more comfortable.  But, again, that wasn’t my main concern.  I was still having gastric issues so the beginning of September I did a 3 day gall bladder cleanse someone recommended to me.   On the third day, I was throwing up the apple juice.  As it turned out, I was pregnant and didn’t know it.  That’s real healthy!  I was starving the poor baby!

I was so sick the first trimester of that pregnancy, I didn’t hardly gain a pound.  I didn’t even start showing until I was 5 months along.  Oh, but in that second and third trimester, I more than made up for the first.  I packed on 45 pounds by the time of delivery.   And, just a few short weeks after Jenna’s birth I was no longer losing a single pound and I was now 30 pounds heavier than when I got pregnant with her.  And my scale was STUCK!

And, I’ll tell you in the next post how I unstuck that scale.

Doesn’t the title of today’s post just make you cringe?  Maybe not now.  But I would venture to guess at one time or another in your life the thought of stepping on the scale was or is unbearable.  Well some good friends of mine have been Thinking Out LOUD about the all time war between ourselves and the scale.  Go ahead and turn up the volume over at Candy Jamamas and start reading Thin Part 1.  She has written a 4-part series on the subject of Thin.  Be sure to read all four parts and all the comments.

It sparked such a discussion amongst us that we all agreed we should “weigh in” on this subject on our respective blogs.   So after reading Candy Jamamas, head on over to Girly Muse(Body Image) and BWildered (Weighty Issues) and read their thoughts and the comments.  Stay tuned here for mine.  It is my hope that between the four blogs, you will be encouraged and ultimately come to peace with the scale.

Growing up I was always very thin.  I could basically eat whatever I wanted and didn’t worry a bit about gaining weight.  All through my teenage years and my 20s, I was thin with no effort.  Dieting was never even a consideration for me.  It was not uncommon in my 20s for me to eat a pint of Ben & Jerry’s for lunch!  And that was after having a Noah’s chocolate chip bagel for breakfast or some other sugar-laden breakfast item.  I always reserved one drawer in my desk at work for my “snacks”.  My drawer was loaded with cookies, crackers, and various candies.  I kept a candy jar on my desk.  And my candy jar wasn’t filled with peppermint starlites!  I had the good stuff – 100 Grand bars, Rolos, Nestle Crunch bars, Hershey Kisses – basically anything chocolate. 

I drank soda, ate fast food, and didn’t really gain weight.  I guess I shouldn’t say I didn’t gain weight.  Over the course of about 15 years, I went from a size 2 to a 4 then to a 6.  By my mid-twenties, I was starting to get a little concerned.  So I started walking a few nights a week.  I walked about 5 miles, 3 to 4 times a week.  That was all I needed.  I wasn’t fat or even overweight.  But I did need to start exercising to tone.  Somewhere around 26, my friend at work invited me to a fitness class.  I had never done anything like that before.  I had always been active and other than my walking, I didn’t do any other concentrated exercise.  I went with her and loved it.  I joined the gym and 2 or 3 times a week I went with her to a cardio-sculpting class.  I loved what exercise did for my body.  Remember, I wasn’t overweight but the class resulted in some changes to my shape I liked.  My clothes fit better and my “trouble spots” were starting to feel under control. 

Please don’t misunderstand me.  At this point in my life, I still wasn’t concerned about my weight.  I still didn’t really have to worry about it.  I had a healthy body image.  Or, so I thought. 

Then I got married at 27 and was approaching my 30s.  Something changes with these two advents of life.  People told me when I got married I wouldn’t be able to stay thin.  They were convinced that settling down and being happy with your husband was a guaranteed introduction into the overweight. 

After getting married, slowly but surely the weight began to creep up.  I was no longer exercising and my eating habits changed.  I was eating more than I ever had.  I tease my husband that he introduced me to the world of food.  I had always been a fairly basic eater.  But, he introduced me to things I had never eaten and I loved them.  I found out I loved to cook.  And I was good at it.  It wasn’t long before my clothes started getting tighter until they just simply didn’t fit. 

It killed me to have to buy the next size up and then the next size.  So my husband and I tried the Atkins diet.  (He had put on weight too.)  Can I just tell you it was the worst 5 days of our marriage?  It is very hard if you are a carb junkie like I was to suddenly, cold-turkey stop eating carbs.  After 5 days I said forget it.  It was too hard and wrecking too much havoc to realistically stick with it.  I know many folks have had great success with it, but I DID NOT LIKE IT!!!  And, I don’t think it is even healthy for you.  

By that point I adopted the philosophy that I didn’t care how much I weighed, just as long as every ounce of me made it to heaven.  After all, isn’t that what’s really important?  It is.  But not caring for the body God gave you, isn’t right either.  I have since discovered there is a happy medium.   More on that later.

At 30 years old, we moved to Wichita, KS.   Gone was the California cuisine and I was introduced to Midwestern and oftentimes Southern cooking.  Also, I flew into New York once a month for a week at a time for work.  And, I loved all the NY food as well.  You can most definitely say I had been turned on to the world of food!  Lo and behold, the weight just kept creeping up. 

A coworker of mine told me she was going to join Weight Watchers.  I said I’m going to do it with you.  I had tried WW one time before in California and I knew if I stuck with it, I would be successful.  This time though my husband did it with me.   We didn’t tell anyone at home what we were doing.  We knew we were going back to CA in the summer and we wanted to just surprise everyone.  And, I didn’t want any of my family asking me how it was going.  This way if I failed they wouldn’t know about it.  My parents never said anything but I knew they were concerned about my weight.  I had always been thin and now I wasn’t.

More to come in a later post. 

Oh, and by the way, did I mention I love anything with the Hostess label on it?

There is a simple pleasure I enjoy.  It is a destresser for me.  I love to draw a hot bath and just luxuriate in it for however long I need to.  Sometimes I even need to add more hot water.  Usually though it is only 10 to 15 minutes long. Now my husband laughs every time I say I’m going to take a hot bath.  He says just about every time, “As opposed to a cold bath?”  He just thinks it’s funny that I ALWAYS say “hot bath”.  Just those two words together start to make me feel better.   And it is even better if I can eat something while I’m in there.  Nothing healthy, of course!  It has to be from my favorite food group – SWEET! 

I’m sure by now you are wondering why in the world I am revealing such a personal habit.  Well I’m Thinking Out LOUD here and I think you just might like it.  So go ahead and turn up the volume.  Or draw a hot bath. 

Have you ever told someone something that you do only to have them respond with “I wish I had time to do that”?   I have.  Truthfully, just about any time I mention this simple pleasure of a hot bath, it is usually met with the “I don’t have time for that”.  Now of course, a hot bath isn’t the only thing that has been met with such a statement.  But, it does stand out as a vivid exchange on numerous occasions.  I got to thinking about this the other day.  As a matter of fact I became a bit incredulous at the thought of someone thinking I am wasting time on a hot bath (I can’t even type just bath.  It just doesn’t sound complete without the word “hot”).  Now I know no one ACTUALLY said I was wasting time.  But isn’t that how you feel when someone responds with “I don’t have time for that” or “I wish I had time for that”?  I immediately feel guilty.  I start thinking, “What’s wrong with me that I am such a time waster?”  “How come I have time for simple luxuries and others don’t?”  When I hear “I don’t have time for that” I feel like people think what I am doing is a luxury.  Maybe I’m the only who feels this way. 

The American way is comprised of a lot of work and self-sacrifice.  If you notice, admitting you do something that doesn’t resemble one iota of work or self-sacrifice is almost equal to saying “Hey, everybody, I’m lazy and selfish!”  Don’t get me wrong, I think we should have a good work ethic and we should be self-sacrificing.   However, I do believe there are times we need to refresh ourselves.  Even Jesus had to go to the other side of the sea from time to time.

As for those ”I don’t have time for that” or “I wish I had time to do that” statements.  The reality is this: We all have the same amount of hours in the day.  Most of us have the same things vying for our time - family, friendships, church, work, etc.  Our lives are not that vastly different from each other’s.  Generally speaking we are the same, specifically our issues are different.  We CHOOSE  how we are going to allocate those 24 hours of the day and to whom. 

So the next time someone responds to you with “I don’t have time for that” remember there is probably something in their life that you don’t have time for.  How we spend our time is a very personal choice.  If you truly aren’t lazy and selfish, don’t feel guilty when you enjoy some of life’s simple pleasures.  It is the quiet moments, simple joys, the scent of flowers, the butterfly kisses, and let’s not forget, the chocolate that makes all the hard work and self-sacrifice worth it all.  Now I think I’m going to draw a hot bath.  I just have to raid my kid’s Easter basket for something sweet!

Last Friday night my girls spent the night at my parents.  Jessica was so excited to be going over there that the days preceding it were met with questions like “can’t we just skip today, and the next and the next and go right to Friday?”  Now mind you, she asked this question and similar ones for the entire week.  Multiple times a day.  Finally I told her on Wednesday that she most certainly could skip Thursday.   All she had to do was go to sleep on Wednesday night and not get up until Friday morning.  I thought it was a great idea and certainly a way to achieve her desired day more quickly.  At that suggestion, she decided she didn’t want to get to Friday quite that bad.  Bummer!  Can you imagine how much I could have gotten done if she had skipped Thursday?

Well, I was getting a bit tired of her wanting to skip days.  She was getting rather grumpy at times because it wasn’t Friday yet.  After another lament that it wasn’t Friday and that she didn’t like today, I pulled out my SWORD!  I said to her, “Did you know the Bible says ‘This is the day the Lord has made; we will rejoice and be glad in it.’“  She just kind of looked at me.  I told her every day is a day the Lord has made and she should be rejoicing and glad for every day she has.  That it doesn’t please the Lord when we are annoyed because today isn’t the day we want it to be.  That was the end of the whining.

But have you ever felt like you wanted to skip tomorrow, the next week, the next month, the next year or just life all together?  I know I have.  We’ve all had moments when we thought, “Wake me when it’s over!”  I believe the Lord showed me through my child’s drudgery of the days leading up to her exciting plans, just how I act sometimes.  I’m Thinking Out LOUD here and if it resonates with you, by all means, turn up the volume. 

In all my daughter’s belly aching I realized I do the same.  Many times I have specific points, events, plans in my life that I can’t wait to get to.  I think if I can just endure all the days in between than I know I will finally reach my oasis.  Too often I view life as a graph with specific goals to reach.  The daily grind is just an end to a means.    I miss the precious minutes, hours, days that make up life.  What is life if I’m living just for the high points?  Life happens every day and I ignore the beauty in each moment.  I want to avoid the hardships that make me a better person.  I’m bored with the mundane that is nothing more than a daily reminder that I’M ALIVE! 

So what I thought was a teachable moment for my daughter was really a reminder to me.  Every moment of my life isn’t exactly where I want to be.  There are some days I would rather skip.  And then I think of the Psalmists words and I am grateful for every day.  I’m still working on the rejoicing and being glad in it part!

This is the day the Lord has made; We will rejoice and be glad in it.  ~Psalm 118:24

To all my loyal followers and fans, a great big “I’m sorry”.   I have finally emerged from the dark and am getting back into my blogging.  As you know from my previous post, I took a week off from the internet entirely.  Over the past week, I have slowly been working my way back.  My blog is my last place of reengagement.

During the past week I have been doing a lot of thinking about the world of blogging.  You know I have mixed emotions about the whole idea.  And if you follow Candy Jamamas  blog, you have read about her personal struggles as well.   Well here is my conclusion:  I’m in on the whole blogging bit.  I may not always be as faithful with my posts as Girly Muse but I’ve decided this business of blogging is nothing more than a Modern Coffee Klatch.

The American Heritage Dictionary, Fourth Edition defines a coffee klatch as a casual social gathering for coffee and conversation.   Blogging is conversation.  Now, don’t all you traditionalists freak out on me.  I know conversation is typically viewed as an exchange of spoken words between two people occuring in real time.  Notice the title here, Modern.   When you think of a coffee klatch, you think of people getting together over coffee and sharing stories, ideas, recipes, experiences and so it goes.  That is exactly what we do with blogging. 

We individually share ideas, stories, recipes, experiences and more through our blogs.  We then leave comments for one another.  We are having dialogue with one another.  We are oftentimes encouraging one another or cheering each other on.  I know it is not the same as sitting down together face-to-face but again I said, Modern.   Before blogging, I could not begin to start Thinking Out LOUD enabling each of you to turn up the volumeand hear what I had to say.  I could have called or emailed each of you individually but then you would not have benefited from the comments of each other.  Unless I then called or emailed each of you back to tell you what someone else had to say in response to my thoughts.  And, well frankly, I don’t have time to call or email everyone all day.  That would be a full-time job. 

So after much pondering, I think I have found a comfortable place with blogging in my mind.  I view it as just another and sometimes more efficient way to dialogue with all of you.  And, I enjoy your blogs just as much.  I love to read about a new great recipe.  (I have yet to try any of them).  I love reading about your life’s experiences.  I love when your thoughts on God or a scripture stir my soul and cause me to be a better Christian. 

I realize it is not the same as face-to-face, but technology is enabling us to have Modern Coffee Klatches with people from all around the country sitting at our table so to speak.  The only thing you need to do is provide the coffee!  Now that’s not so hard is it?

Our church has an annual week of prayer and fasting.  Tomorrow begins our week.  As part of my fast, I will be going completely offline from my blogs, email, and Facebook.  If you need to reach me, I am available by phone at home or on cell.

I’ll be back in a week.  I’m sure this week will provoke much in my brain and I’m sure I will have a lot of Thinking Out LOUD for you upon my return.  Hopefully you will not have completely tuned out in my absence and upon my return, you will be happy to turn up the volume!

Have you ever gotten a little bit depressed reading other people’s blogs?  Do you ever think, “Their life seems so much better than mine.They are so smart, so pretty, their children are so well-behaved, they have such nice clothes, they house is so much better than mine, their spouse is IDEAL, they always have a clean home, they have so much extra time to be able to blog, they are so privileged to be a stay-at-home mom….”?  I could go on all day with various thoughts that undoubtedly pop into your head.  

My sister and I have had several discussions about the whole concept of blogging.  We too have come away after being entangled in the labyrinth of blogs feeling just a little more inferior than we did before reading.  We encouraged each other and reminded one another that we are only getting a glimpse of what the blogger is proud of.  They struggle with marriage, family, money, housing, and everything under the sun just like us.  They just don’t give us a view into that window.  I will admit some give us a bit more of a view than others but generally speaking it is all very rosy.

Well today I’m Thinking Out LOUD about such tormenting thoughts.  So go ahead,  turn up the volumebecause you are about to get a reality check!   To my fellow bloggers:  Sorry I’m blowing your cover today

A few months ago I was asked to speak at our Sectional Ladies Meeting.  Our theme was “I’m R.E.A.L. Are you?”  The acronym stood for Reaching Every Apostolic Lady.   I spoke on what  a real woman looks like.  I’m going to share part of that with you today.  With today’s post, I hope to reach every one who reads blogs and feels a bit intimidated, depressed, or inferior.   Here’s just a little excerpt from my comments at that meeting.  To my male readers:  This was a women’s conference so that was my audience.  Perhaps one of you could come up with a list on your blog for the men .  But then again I don’t think the male mind works quite like a woman’s so it may not even be applicable.

Enjoy, identify, laugh, cry and feel encouraged.  Feel free to add to this list in the comments section.  You are real and so am I!  And so are all those bloggers out there! 

Here are some examples of what it means to be a REAL woman:

Real women:

Slick their hair back and hope no one notices it’s dirty

Have stretch marks

“Lose it” with their families sometimes

Worry their daughters will get pregnant

Start diets on Monday morning and blow it by Noon

ALWAYS wonder if they are pretty

Have messy houses

Worry if their sons are viewing porn

Ask their husband to wear his underwear inside out “just this once” because she hasn’t had time to do the laundry

Say they are going to fast tomorrow and then eat breakfast because they forgot

Have bodies that sag in time

Aren’t living the romance they thought they would

Wonder if other women feel like they do

Have children – then ask, “Why did I do this to myself? I didn’t have to!”

Get depressed

Eat their secret stash of snacks when no one is looking

Have questions about God or His word, but are afraid to ask them – others might think they aren’t spiritual

Appear put together in public and think, “If others saw what is growing in my shower, they would wonder how I got clean”

Crave at least one deep, meaningful friendship with another woman

Are afraid to admit to other women any of the above is true for them

As you know from my previous post, I am attempting to declutter my home.  It is a huge undertaking and is taking me quite some time to do.   I am no where near completed with this project.  But as I’ve been purging stuff out of my home, I have been thinking about my spiritual life.  I am reminded through this physical act of home cleansing how much I need to do the same in my spiritual life.

Our church has been on a 40 day media fast.  Our pastor calls these fasts periodically and they are always painful at first.  However by time the withdrawals subside, I find I kind of like it better.  My spirit feels a little bit less cluttered.  My heart feels a little lighter.  And joy seems to resurface.  If you have never experienced a complete withdrawal from media for a length of time, I encourage/challenge you to try it.  It is amazing how much we can get done when we aren’t wasting our time feeding our brains and spirits with “junk food”.  In place of the media, we have been feeding our brains and spirits with some “REAL food”.

If you were to walk in my home right now, you would hear some preacher layin’ it out!  Yes, we are listening to preaching tapes.  My spirit is already feeling better.  I have spent more time reading my Bible and praying without the distractions of media.   Just last night for some unknown reason, I felt troubled in my spirit.  Well I couldn’t just distract myself with some good movie.  What did I do?  I found a place at the chair in my living room and just had ”a little talk with Jesus”.  I felt so much better and so refreshed in the few moments with my Lord.  He’s faithful like that.

I did not write the previous paragraph to let you in on how spiritual I am.  Rather, I wrote it to give you an honest picture of what is happening in the decluttering of my spirit.  I heard a preacher one time who was preaching about hearing God’s voice.  He contended (and I agree with him) that we don’t hear God’s voice loud and clear in our lives because we have too much drowning Him out.  He likened our lives to a radio trying to tune into to God’s voice.  Oftentimes there is so much static we either can’t hear His voice or we can barely hear Him. 

I challenge you to think about what are some of the things that are drowning out God’s voice in your life.  What is causing so much static?  Media is not the only thing.  I just used that as an example from my personal life since I am in the midst of a media fast.  Here is a list of some things that come to my mind.

Unforgiveness, anger, hatred, envy, discontentment, grumbling and complaining, fatigue (yes you do need sleep and a lack of it makes it hard to focus on God), gossip, stubbornness, pride, greed, and laziness. 

I know this is in no way an exhaustive list.  Sometimes it is hard for us to see what is causing the static in our life.  I encourage you to do some Thinking Out LOUD with a confidant to help you determine what exactly is cluttering your spirit.  Keep in mind we are often aware of our sins but very often unaware of what is just weighting us down.  And then when you have identified it, PURGE!  Only then can you really turn up the volume and hear the clear, unwavering voice of our Lord.

Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.  ~Hebrews 12:1 -2 NKJV

Have you tried to turn up the volume this week only to find I haven’t been Thinking Out LOUD?  Well I haven’t been on some exotic, tropical vacation.  Far from it!  I’ve been trying to declutter my home.  How do I wind up with so many useful but unused items?  I know I’m not alone in this.  It seems to be the modern woman’s plague.   I should say the modern AMERICAN woman’s plague!  Why do we think we need so much? 

I decided last week that enough is enough.  I’m getting rid of some stuff.  My husband has agreed to help me Friday and Saturday attack the garage.  We’ll see how well that goes with a 5 year old who hates to get rid of anything and a 21 month old who just goes behind and creates more work.  I have been contemplating what I’m going to do with all the stuff I’m purging from our house.  I simply cannot throw in the garbage perfectly good items.  It just goes against my practical sensibilities.  I can save it all in the garage for a sunny day garage sale.  I can take pictures of it all and post it on craigslist or Ebay.   I can bag everything up and take it to Goodwill. 

Well all of that sounded like good ideas except that would mean I would have to continue to store these items until I could sell them or make a few trips to Goodwill.  Yep, I have that much stuff!  None of these solutions sounded good to me.  Well would you believe the Lord came through and provided me with Hope?  No I’m not talking about hope eternal although He offers that too.  I’m talking about HOPE Services.  I got a bright yellow card in the mail from them yesterday.  They are going to be in my neighborhood on Monday, March 16th!  And they want all my stuff!  They will pick it up!  I just have to bag it.  Can you tell I’m excited?

If you are looking for HOPE as well, call them at 1-866-636-6283.  I think they might want your stuff too.  Their little card says “Your Help Means HOPE”  – I think their help means hope for me.  So if you keep tuning in here and my blog seems a little quiet, now you know why.  I have HOPE and I’m purging my house.