I’m Thinking Out LOUD today about money. I don’t have any get-rich-quick schemes for you. I don’t have an insider tip for you. I just want to give you a little view into my world of money right now. So go ahead and turn up the volume. You are going to want to hear this.

Our church has enrolled in Financial Peace University. This is Dave Ramsey’s class on budgeting, dumping debt, and building wealth. For the past 5 weeks, about 40 of us have been meeting on Sunday afternoons and watching Dave’s video curriculum. It has been amazing. I am so excited about what I see happening in our families and individuals. We are saving money, paying off debt and finally taking control of our money. It is an incredible feeling. (I must add a disclaimer here. Dave Ramsey and Financial Peace University don’t know who I am so this is not a paid endorsement or advertisement. Just wanted to let you know.)

Now don’t get me wrong. It is a painful process. It takes a lot of hard work at first to put together the kind of budget Dave recommends. It is hard to tell your money where to go and to stick with a plan. It took me about 8 hours to put together the first detailed budget. And that was for a 2 week budget! And, no that’s not because I have so much money that it took such a long time to spend it on paper. I’ll let you know when that happens but it ain’t right now.

I wanted to blog about my experience. It has been a very rewarding week. My family has for the most part lived within our means. However, we have never stuck to a specific dollar amount in any particular category. And, I have never been one to carry around cash and pay for things out of an envelope system. I have always paid for purchases with my debit card. We decided to go all out with Dave’s plan. That includes the envelope system. So this past week was our first week to purchase with cash from our envelopes. I wasn’t even sure how to withdraw the cash I needed from the bank! How crazy is that?

I am so into the envelope system. I was pretty certain it was going to feel really restrictive and I was not going to like it. It has been the exact opposite. I almost feel like I am playing a game. My goal is to see how much money I can have left in my envelopes at the end of 2 weeks. I am so much more aware of how much I am spending and how much items actually cost. I didn’t realize it was costing me $15 for my house to smell good with plug-ins. I decided that was probably not a necessary item. I’m not against plug-ins. So if you use them, keep right on doing so. I just decided maybe that really isn’t necessary for me. Now, I know you couponers have a million ways to get them for 57 cents or better yet, FREE. I’m not there yet and may never be, so for now, my house won’t smell as pretty as yours.

Several families in our class have expressed similar experiences as they have applied the tools Dave teaches. I am really excited to see what God has planned for us individually and as a church as we apply Biblical principles to our finances. I don’t feel in the least bit deprived. I feel like I’m in control. I feel like a good steward. Imagine that! Funny how God’s word always proves itself to the be best way when you put His principles to work in your life.

If you feel overwhelmed and hopeless about your financial situation, I encourage you to check out Financial Peace University. If applied, it really is life changing.

I’ll keep you posted on our efforts.

It has been over 2 years since I have written a post.  First, let me say thank you to all of you who have encouraged me to keep writing.  It hasn’t been that I haven’t had anything to say.  It’s that some things are better left unsaid.  Or at least, one should wait until the fog dissipates before Thinking Out LOUD.  I think the fog has cleared somewhat and I can communicate my thoughts coherently once again.  I’m sure most of you have switched channels by now, but if you’re tuning in, go ahead turn up the volume.  I’m back!

Most of you may already know this, but for those of you who don’t, 3 1/2 years ago I was diagnosed with Crohn’s Disease.  If you who don’t know what Crohn’s is, a quick search on WebMD will fill in the blanks for you.  I don’t think most readers want the gory details of what all it entails.  I’ll save that for another forum.

It has been a hard 3 1/2 years.  The pendulum of emotions has swung from denial, anger, self-pity, and acceptance.  And, not necessarily in that order.  I have felt like a human pin cushion. I have tried so many medications trying to get it under control.     Finding the right mix of treatments to manage it and bring it under control is an exhausting process.

November of 2009, my 3rd colonoscopy revealed the disease had spread and more drastic measures were necessary to get it into remission.  I had been resistant to taking any of the biological medications.  But, I had reached a point that it was becoming obvious that without Divine intervention, I needed to start the treatments.  I begin with a treatment of prednisone and an oral biologic, Imuran.  If any of you have ever taken prednisone, than you know how awful that drug is.  I took it for 3 months, gained 30 pounds and developed Cushing’s Syndrome.  Let me tell you in a word, it was HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE!!!  It is a very effective drug accompanied by very awful side effects.  I ended the prednisone the end of February 2010 and continued with Imuran until the end of March.  I had to stop the Imuran due to severe, crippling joint pain.

After all that aggressive treatment, IT DIDN’T WORK!  As soon as I stopped the medication, it all flared up again.  Now I was faced with the reality that this disease wasn’t going away, it was stubborn, and without a miracle the only way I could control it was with aggressive treatment that is inconvenient and very expensive.  So, June of 2010 I finally consented and began Remicade treatments.  These are infusion treatments that are similar to the administration of chemotherapy.  I go in every six weeks for 3 hours and am hooked up to an IV to receive my medication.  I then go home and am in bed sick for 2 to 3 days.   My disease, even a year later, is not what they would consider in complete remission but it is definitely more manageable.

And, then as if that wasn’t enough, on September 16, 2010 my daughters and I were hit by a drunk driver.  Thank the Lord, my girls were fine.  They didn’t even have a scratch.  However, I suffered a concussion and a neck injury that took the next few months to heal.  I am so thankful God was with us that night.  It could have been so much worse.

Now some of you are probably feeling a little sorry for me about now.  Even as I type this, I think this sure sounds pathetic.  Is this really my life?  There is so much I can write about from just the last 3 1/2 years of experience.  And, in time, I probably will do just that.  But, one thing I have learned in all of this is that LIFE doesn’t stop for anybody no matter how difficult the circumstances are.  Time continues to march on, children continue to grow, babies are born, loved ones die, and life keeps going.  I had a choice to make.  I could shake my fist at life and yell, “Stop! Wait for me! Don’t do anything until I’m well enough to participate!”  Or, I could take God on and see if what He promised in His word was really true.  Here’s what I found.

In 2 Corinthians 12:6-10 we read the account of the Apostle Paul dealing with a “thorn in the flesh”.  Now I have read this account over and over in my Christian life.  I’ve heard all kinds of messages preached from this passage.  There’s even a few great songs written from it.  And, I believed it.  But, I had never actually had to live it.  Until now.  Verses 9 and 10 have been my theme for these past few years.

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties.  For when I am weak, then I am strong.           ~2 Corinthians 12:9-10 NIV

I can tell you without a doubt that this promise from God is absolutely true.  I have had to use wisdom and know when to say no and when to just rest.  But, I have not had to check out of life.  Although, to be honest, at times it felt like that’s exactly what I was doing.  (There are so many emotions that come with a chronic illness, but I’ll save that for another post.) Don’t let me mislead you and lead you to believe that this verse enabled me to behave and live as though there was absolutely nothing wrong with me.   That would be the farthest thing from the truth.  It enables me to endure. I know God will give me the strength to accomplish those things in life that really matter.

I could very easily use my illness as an excuse to check out of a lot of things.  But instead I have embedded those scriptures deep in my heart and in my mind and forged ahead.  There are countless times I can point to over the last 3 1/2 years where I knew at that moment I was being infused with the power of God.  I knew that on my own physical strength I could have never accomplished the task.  Yet, God is faithful to His promise and He strengthens me when I am just too weak on my own.

This post is only a sliver of the whole picture.  But, I hope you have been encouraged by it.  It doesn’t matter how strong you think your faith is.  It is only the trying of it that reveals the strength of it.  I have found my faith shaken these past 3 1/2 years. I have wrestled with God over my healing. I have been angry with Him at times. But, I have found it to be true that His grace is sufficient for me and His strength truly is made PERFECT in my weakness. And ultimately all that matters is God. He is being allowed to shine more brightly in my weakened state. And, I am getting a very real picture of just how much I need Him.

So, I leave you with this question:

Where in your life do you need to allow God to infuse you with His grace so that His strength can be made perfect?

His grace is the only way you will ever really become strong.

 

 

I interrupt my “Weighing In” blogging for Mother’s Day.  I can’t let this day pass without getting some stuff off my chest about being a mom.  Let me warn you up front.   I’m Thinking Out LOUD here and it is not politically correct.  If you are into political correctness, than please turn up the volume.  You need your politically correct nonsense challenged when it comes to being a  mom.  I know this is a vehement opening but I am vehemently passionate about this matter.  Don’t tune out just yet.  I think some of you will be standing up and cheering at the end.

This past week I picked up the May 2009 Ladies Home Journal while waiting in the doctor’s office.  I began to read the article entitled “Go Ahead, Jump!”  The article is all about taking risks.  Now before I tell you more.  Keep in mind this is the May edition.  You know the month that Mother’s Day falls in.  Well as I continued reading the article there was a real-life example of a woman who took some risks in her life, overcame her fears, went back to college and fulfilled her dream of becoming a librarian.  Sounds warm and fuzzy, right?  Let me tell you what her motivation was.  Below is a quote from the article.  Words in bold are my emphasis.

“…Boston mom Victoria Lane asked herself those questions when she thought about going back to school after her daughter was out of diapers.  ‘I really wanted to have an identity other than being a mom,’ she says. ‘I wanted to become a librarian…’  Sitting in the car while her daughter was in music class one day, Lane burst into tears, ‘It was the one-millionth car trip and I thought, Who am I?’ she remembers.  ‘How will my daughter see me – as a chauffeur?’  It was the breaking point for Lane…”

Now before I let you in on my thoughts, I have a question.  Does that rub any of you the wrong way?  I was enraged when I read those words.  Now, don’t get me wrong.  I don’t think there is anything wrong with moms having an identity other than mom.  It is the disdain for simply being a mom that I loathe.  As though, you are a sub-woman because all you do is motherhood.  I also realize being a stay-at-home mom is not a reality for many women due to the high cost of living.   But do you hear the disdain in her questions?  She was worried her daughter would think less of her because she was simply a mom.  I’ve never heard a child complain because their mom was only a mom. 

I will be the first to admit that being a mother is the hardest thing I have ever done.  It is also the most selfless thing I have ever done.   As well as the most thankless.  I have to admit my Mom sure made it look easy.  I am constantly looking back to my childhood to see how I’m measuring up.  She is my measuring stick.  And in my opinion, herein lies the reason for so many women disdaining the role of motherhood.  It is hard, it is selfless, and it is thankless in the short-term.  It doesn’t get the recognition it deserves.  It doesn’t reap instant rewards.  The instant feedback is a defiant 2 year old who has just learned to say “NO” and uses it as often as possible.  Combine all of that with a societal culture that views stay-at-home moms as a waste of talent and you have women all over having an identity crisis.  Who am I?  For heaven’s sake, get over yourself.  You’re a Mother!  Isn’t that enough?

One of the most amazing things that comes up in every premarital counseling session my husband does is that every woman struggles with whether or not she is going to stay home with her children.  My husband has taken to asking this question, “Would you rather use all your gifts and talents to be make someone else a lot of money, would you rather use all your gifts and talents to better other people’s children in a classroom or would you rather use all of your gifts and talents to mold, shape, and build the best in your OWN children?”  Put that way, doesn’t it seem like a NO-BRAINER?  Yet society says if we stay home and raise our own children, we are wasting ourselves.  What is wrong with using all you’ve got and investing it in your children? 

If I have so much to offer the world, you better believe I’m going to make sure I use it to grow the most glorious, responsible, well-mannered, character-laden adults you’ve ever seen.  That’s my contribution to society.  And, I’m not ashamed to call myself Mom, a stay-at-home one at that. 

I want my kids to remember me chauffeuring them around.  I want them to remember me doing yet another load of laundry.  I want them to remember me making lunch.  I want them to remember me sewing the button on their shirt.  I want them to remember me taking them to the park.  I want them to remember me reading Amelia Bedelia just one more time.  I want them to remember me grocery shopping.  I want them to remember me in the every day mundane.  I want them to remember me being Mom.  I want to be their measuring stick one day when they are moms.

So if you ask me, “Who are you? What do you do?”  I will proudly answer, “I’m a Mom”.  I hope all you mothers out there will do the same.  Happy Mother’s Day!

 

 

So my coworker and I joined Weight Watchers.  As I stated before, my husband decided this time he was going to do it with me.  Now he didn’t officially join.  But he did everything I did.  He tracked his food, measured it, counted out the Teddy Grahams, weighed weekly, split meals with me at the restaurant, and lost weight with me.  Of course, over 3 months he lost 30 pounds and I lost 18.  (Why do men always lose more than women in the same amount of time?  I’m going to have to ask God about that one.  Now those of you who know the medical reasoning for that, please don’t send me a lengthy dissertation on the subject.  I’m just Thinking Out LOUD here and I don’t really want to turn up the volume on that phenomenon.  I just want EQUALITY!)  I was literally workin’ my butt off with my cardio-sculpting workout video and HE WASN’T EVEN EXERCISING!  

We lost weight and we were really feeling good about ourselves.  We went out to California for a visit and my parents were shocked when they picked us up at the airport.  We managed to surprise them and never even hinted that we were on a weight loss regimen.  We had a great visit and headed back to Kansas.  It was just a few weeks later that we relocated to California where my husband accepted his pastorate.  We arrived svelte and it all went downhill from there.  

See with Weight Watchers we lost weight but we really didn’t change our eating habits.  We controlled our portions but we still ate all the wrong things.  My attitude about food hadn’t changed.  I would save enough points every day for my sweets.  I would save enough for the day of my weigh in to reward myself with a candy bar if I had lost weight that week.  Without fail, every week I would head to the store after my weigh in and buy a low-point candy bar.  Usually a Caramello.  I would then draw myself a hot bath and savor my candy bar while soaking, all the while thinking how much I deserved it.  We ate ice cream every night.  Skinny Cows, of course.  But we would save enough points to eat 2!

After arriving back in California, we started slipping on our food tracking and our portions.  We started teaching Bible studies where people would feed us entire meals.  Sometimes we  had several Bible studies in one day and we would eat at all of them.  It would have been rude to not eat.   Slowly, the weight began to creep on.   And then, I got pregnant!  Well, all bets were off then.  I was suppose to gain weight.  And I was so good, I gained 40 pounds.

After the birth of Jessica, she and I both had a lot of health issues.  Losing weight wasn’t a priority for me.  I lost about 3o of those pounds over the next year or so.  But I wasn’t really focused on losing my weight.  I didn’t even try.  I kept 10 extra pounds on and carried them every where I went.  Okay, maybe it was more like 15.  I didn’t like the weight but I also wasn’t motivated to do anything about it.  Jessica was about 2 1/2 years old when I ran across a book entitled Food and Loveby Gary Smalley.  It rocked my world!  He mentioned a book that had been revelatory for him.  After reading his book, I ran out and bought What Would Jesus Eat by Dr. Don Colbert.    These two books started my research about food and its effects on the body.  I was horrified at what I had been doing to my body.  My eating habits were destructive.  Weight was no longer the issue but the overall health of my body became my focus.   I was still having a lot of gastric issues and I thought maybe I needed to work on my diet and food habits to put an end to the ongoing issues.

This research led me to the idea of detox diets.  Not so much for the weight, but to cleanse the impurities from my system.  In June 2006 I did the Master Cleanse for the first time.  It is also known as the Lemonade Diet.  Keep in mind here, my focus wasn’t about weight loss.  It was for cleansing.  After 10 days, I felt so much better.  My skin was clearer, I didn’t look bloated in my face and I was down about 8 or 9 pounds.   I kept most of the weight off and I continued reading all I could about food.  My bookshelf today has a whole section dedicated to food books.  And, I don’t mean cookbooks.  Although, I have those too.  That entire summer I radically changed my eating habits for the healthier.  I was now a Whole Foods shopper.   A real granola cruncher of sorts.  I tried new recipes.  I spouted the virtues of organic to anyone who would listen.   And, I did feel better. 

In August of 2006, I did the Master Cleanse again.  Our church was going on a week long fast and I figured mine would be the Cleanse.   By now my weight was getting down to where I was much more comfortable.  But, again, that wasn’t my main concern.  I was still having gastric issues so the beginning of September I did a 3 day gall bladder cleanse someone recommended to me.   On the third day, I was throwing up the apple juice.  As it turned out, I was pregnant and didn’t know it.  That’s real healthy!  I was starving the poor baby!

I was so sick the first trimester of that pregnancy, I didn’t hardly gain a pound.  I didn’t even start showing until I was 5 months along.  Oh, but in that second and third trimester, I more than made up for the first.  I packed on 45 pounds by the time of delivery.   And, just a few short weeks after Jenna’s birth I was no longer losing a single pound and I was now 30 pounds heavier than when I got pregnant with her.  And my scale was STUCK!

And, I’ll tell you in the next post how I unstuck that scale.

Doesn’t the title of today’s post just make you cringe?  Maybe not now.  But I would venture to guess at one time or another in your life the thought of stepping on the scale was or is unbearable.  Well some good friends of mine have been Thinking Out LOUD about the all time war between ourselves and the scale.  Go ahead and turn up the volume over at Candy Jamamas and start reading Thin Part 1.  She has written a 4-part series on the subject of Thin.  Be sure to read all four parts and all the comments.

It sparked such a discussion amongst us that we all agreed we should “weigh in” on this subject on our respective blogs.   So after reading Candy Jamamas, head on over to Girly Muse(Body Image) and BWildered (Weighty Issues) and read their thoughts and the comments.  Stay tuned here for mine.  It is my hope that between the four blogs, you will be encouraged and ultimately come to peace with the scale.

Growing up I was always very thin.  I could basically eat whatever I wanted and didn’t worry a bit about gaining weight.  All through my teenage years and my 20s, I was thin with no effort.  Dieting was never even a consideration for me.  It was not uncommon in my 20s for me to eat a pint of Ben & Jerry’s for lunch!  And that was after having a Noah’s chocolate chip bagel for breakfast or some other sugar-laden breakfast item.  I always reserved one drawer in my desk at work for my “snacks”.  My drawer was loaded with cookies, crackers, and various candies.  I kept a candy jar on my desk.  And my candy jar wasn’t filled with peppermint starlites!  I had the good stuff – 100 Grand bars, Rolos, Nestle Crunch bars, Hershey Kisses – basically anything chocolate. 

I drank soda, ate fast food, and didn’t really gain weight.  I guess I shouldn’t say I didn’t gain weight.  Over the course of about 15 years, I went from a size 2 to a 4 then to a 6.  By my mid-twenties, I was starting to get a little concerned.  So I started walking a few nights a week.  I walked about 5 miles, 3 to 4 times a week.  That was all I needed.  I wasn’t fat or even overweight.  But I did need to start exercising to tone.  Somewhere around 26, my friend at work invited me to a fitness class.  I had never done anything like that before.  I had always been active and other than my walking, I didn’t do any other concentrated exercise.  I went with her and loved it.  I joined the gym and 2 or 3 times a week I went with her to a cardio-sculpting class.  I loved what exercise did for my body.  Remember, I wasn’t overweight but the class resulted in some changes to my shape I liked.  My clothes fit better and my “trouble spots” were starting to feel under control. 

Please don’t misunderstand me.  At this point in my life, I still wasn’t concerned about my weight.  I still didn’t really have to worry about it.  I had a healthy body image.  Or, so I thought. 

Then I got married at 27 and was approaching my 30s.  Something changes with these two advents of life.  People told me when I got married I wouldn’t be able to stay thin.  They were convinced that settling down and being happy with your husband was a guaranteed introduction into the overweight. 

After getting married, slowly but surely the weight began to creep up.  I was no longer exercising and my eating habits changed.  I was eating more than I ever had.  I tease my husband that he introduced me to the world of food.  I had always been a fairly basic eater.  But, he introduced me to things I had never eaten and I loved them.  I found out I loved to cook.  And I was good at it.  It wasn’t long before my clothes started getting tighter until they just simply didn’t fit. 

It killed me to have to buy the next size up and then the next size.  So my husband and I tried the Atkins diet.  (He had put on weight too.)  Can I just tell you it was the worst 5 days of our marriage?  It is very hard if you are a carb junkie like I was to suddenly, cold-turkey stop eating carbs.  After 5 days I said forget it.  It was too hard and wrecking too much havoc to realistically stick with it.  I know many folks have had great success with it, but I DID NOT LIKE IT!!!  And, I don’t think it is even healthy for you.  

By that point I adopted the philosophy that I didn’t care how much I weighed, just as long as every ounce of me made it to heaven.  After all, isn’t that what’s really important?  It is.  But not caring for the body God gave you, isn’t right either.  I have since discovered there is a happy medium.   More on that later.

At 30 years old, we moved to Wichita, KS.   Gone was the California cuisine and I was introduced to Midwestern and oftentimes Southern cooking.  Also, I flew into New York once a month for a week at a time for work.  And, I loved all the NY food as well.  You can most definitely say I had been turned on to the world of food!  Lo and behold, the weight just kept creeping up. 

A coworker of mine told me she was going to join Weight Watchers.  I said I’m going to do it with you.  I had tried WW one time before in California and I knew if I stuck with it, I would be successful.  This time though my husband did it with me.   We didn’t tell anyone at home what we were doing.  We knew we were going back to CA in the summer and we wanted to just surprise everyone.  And, I didn’t want any of my family asking me how it was going.  This way if I failed they wouldn’t know about it.  My parents never said anything but I knew they were concerned about my weight.  I had always been thin and now I wasn’t.

More to come in a later post. 

Oh, and by the way, did I mention I love anything with the Hostess label on it?

There is a simple pleasure I enjoy.  It is a destresser for me.  I love to draw a hot bath and just luxuriate in it for however long I need to.  Sometimes I even need to add more hot water.  Usually though it is only 10 to 15 minutes long. Now my husband laughs every time I say I’m going to take a hot bath.  He says just about every time, “As opposed to a cold bath?”  He just thinks it’s funny that I ALWAYS say “hot bath”.  Just those two words together start to make me feel better.   And it is even better if I can eat something while I’m in there.  Nothing healthy, of course!  It has to be from my favorite food group – SWEET! 

I’m sure by now you are wondering why in the world I am revealing such a personal habit.  Well I’m Thinking Out LOUD here and I think you just might like it.  So go ahead and turn up the volume.  Or draw a hot bath. 

Have you ever told someone something that you do only to have them respond with “I wish I had time to do that”?   I have.  Truthfully, just about any time I mention this simple pleasure of a hot bath, it is usually met with the “I don’t have time for that”.  Now of course, a hot bath isn’t the only thing that has been met with such a statement.  But, it does stand out as a vivid exchange on numerous occasions.  I got to thinking about this the other day.  As a matter of fact I became a bit incredulous at the thought of someone thinking I am wasting time on a hot bath (I can’t even type just bath.  It just doesn’t sound complete without the word “hot”).  Now I know no one ACTUALLY said I was wasting time.  But isn’t that how you feel when someone responds with “I don’t have time for that” or “I wish I had time for that”?  I immediately feel guilty.  I start thinking, “What’s wrong with me that I am such a time waster?”  “How come I have time for simple luxuries and others don’t?”  When I hear “I don’t have time for that” I feel like people think what I am doing is a luxury.  Maybe I’m the only who feels this way. 

The American way is comprised of a lot of work and self-sacrifice.  If you notice, admitting you do something that doesn’t resemble one iota of work or self-sacrifice is almost equal to saying “Hey, everybody, I’m lazy and selfish!”  Don’t get me wrong, I think we should have a good work ethic and we should be self-sacrificing.   However, I do believe there are times we need to refresh ourselves.  Even Jesus had to go to the other side of the sea from time to time.

As for those ”I don’t have time for that” or “I wish I had time to do that” statements.  The reality is this: We all have the same amount of hours in the day.  Most of us have the same things vying for our time - family, friendships, church, work, etc.  Our lives are not that vastly different from each other’s.  Generally speaking we are the same, specifically our issues are different.  We CHOOSE  how we are going to allocate those 24 hours of the day and to whom. 

So the next time someone responds to you with “I don’t have time for that” remember there is probably something in their life that you don’t have time for.  How we spend our time is a very personal choice.  If you truly aren’t lazy and selfish, don’t feel guilty when you enjoy some of life’s simple pleasures.  It is the quiet moments, simple joys, the scent of flowers, the butterfly kisses, and let’s not forget, the chocolate that makes all the hard work and self-sacrifice worth it all.  Now I think I’m going to draw a hot bath.  I just have to raid my kid’s Easter basket for something sweet!

Last Friday night my girls spent the night at my parents.  Jessica was so excited to be going over there that the days preceding it were met with questions like “can’t we just skip today, and the next and the next and go right to Friday?”  Now mind you, she asked this question and similar ones for the entire week.  Multiple times a day.  Finally I told her on Wednesday that she most certainly could skip Thursday.   All she had to do was go to sleep on Wednesday night and not get up until Friday morning.  I thought it was a great idea and certainly a way to achieve her desired day more quickly.  At that suggestion, she decided she didn’t want to get to Friday quite that bad.  Bummer!  Can you imagine how much I could have gotten done if she had skipped Thursday?

Well, I was getting a bit tired of her wanting to skip days.  She was getting rather grumpy at times because it wasn’t Friday yet.  After another lament that it wasn’t Friday and that she didn’t like today, I pulled out my SWORD!  I said to her, “Did you know the Bible says ‘This is the day the Lord has made; we will rejoice and be glad in it.’“  She just kind of looked at me.  I told her every day is a day the Lord has made and she should be rejoicing and glad for every day she has.  That it doesn’t please the Lord when we are annoyed because today isn’t the day we want it to be.  That was the end of the whining.

But have you ever felt like you wanted to skip tomorrow, the next week, the next month, the next year or just life all together?  I know I have.  We’ve all had moments when we thought, “Wake me when it’s over!”  I believe the Lord showed me through my child’s drudgery of the days leading up to her exciting plans, just how I act sometimes.  I’m Thinking Out LOUD here and if it resonates with you, by all means, turn up the volume. 

In all my daughter’s belly aching I realized I do the same.  Many times I have specific points, events, plans in my life that I can’t wait to get to.  I think if I can just endure all the days in between than I know I will finally reach my oasis.  Too often I view life as a graph with specific goals to reach.  The daily grind is just an end to a means.    I miss the precious minutes, hours, days that make up life.  What is life if I’m living just for the high points?  Life happens every day and I ignore the beauty in each moment.  I want to avoid the hardships that make me a better person.  I’m bored with the mundane that is nothing more than a daily reminder that I’M ALIVE! 

So what I thought was a teachable moment for my daughter was really a reminder to me.  Every moment of my life isn’t exactly where I want to be.  There are some days I would rather skip.  And then I think of the Psalmists words and I am grateful for every day.  I’m still working on the rejoicing and being glad in it part!

This is the day the Lord has made; We will rejoice and be glad in it.  ~Psalm 118:24

To all my loyal followers and fans, a great big “I’m sorry”.   I have finally emerged from the dark and am getting back into my blogging.  As you know from my previous post, I took a week off from the internet entirely.  Over the past week, I have slowly been working my way back.  My blog is my last place of reengagement.

During the past week I have been doing a lot of thinking about the world of blogging.  You know I have mixed emotions about the whole idea.  And if you follow Candy Jamamas  blog, you have read about her personal struggles as well.   Well here is my conclusion:  I’m in on the whole blogging bit.  I may not always be as faithful with my posts as Girly Muse but I’ve decided this business of blogging is nothing more than a Modern Coffee Klatch.

The American Heritage Dictionary, Fourth Edition defines a coffee klatch as a casual social gathering for coffee and conversation.   Blogging is conversation.  Now, don’t all you traditionalists freak out on me.  I know conversation is typically viewed as an exchange of spoken words between two people occuring in real time.  Notice the title here, Modern.   When you think of a coffee klatch, you think of people getting together over coffee and sharing stories, ideas, recipes, experiences and so it goes.  That is exactly what we do with blogging. 

We individually share ideas, stories, recipes, experiences and more through our blogs.  We then leave comments for one another.  We are having dialogue with one another.  We are oftentimes encouraging one another or cheering each other on.  I know it is not the same as sitting down together face-to-face but again I said, Modern.   Before blogging, I could not begin to start Thinking Out LOUD enabling each of you to turn up the volumeand hear what I had to say.  I could have called or emailed each of you individually but then you would not have benefited from the comments of each other.  Unless I then called or emailed each of you back to tell you what someone else had to say in response to my thoughts.  And, well frankly, I don’t have time to call or email everyone all day.  That would be a full-time job. 

So after much pondering, I think I have found a comfortable place with blogging in my mind.  I view it as just another and sometimes more efficient way to dialogue with all of you.  And, I enjoy your blogs just as much.  I love to read about a new great recipe.  (I have yet to try any of them).  I love reading about your life’s experiences.  I love when your thoughts on God or a scripture stir my soul and cause me to be a better Christian. 

I realize it is not the same as face-to-face, but technology is enabling us to have Modern Coffee Klatches with people from all around the country sitting at our table so to speak.  The only thing you need to do is provide the coffee!  Now that’s not so hard is it?

Our church has an annual week of prayer and fasting.  Tomorrow begins our week.  As part of my fast, I will be going completely offline from my blogs, email, and Facebook.  If you need to reach me, I am available by phone at home or on cell.

I’ll be back in a week.  I’m sure this week will provoke much in my brain and I’m sure I will have a lot of Thinking Out LOUD for you upon my return.  Hopefully you will not have completely tuned out in my absence and upon my return, you will be happy to turn up the volume!

Have you ever gotten a little bit depressed reading other people’s blogs?  Do you ever think, “Their life seems so much better than mine.They are so smart, so pretty, their children are so well-behaved, they have such nice clothes, they house is so much better than mine, their spouse is IDEAL, they always have a clean home, they have so much extra time to be able to blog, they are so privileged to be a stay-at-home mom….”?  I could go on all day with various thoughts that undoubtedly pop into your head.  

My sister and I have had several discussions about the whole concept of blogging.  We too have come away after being entangled in the labyrinth of blogs feeling just a little more inferior than we did before reading.  We encouraged each other and reminded one another that we are only getting a glimpse of what the blogger is proud of.  They struggle with marriage, family, money, housing, and everything under the sun just like us.  They just don’t give us a view into that window.  I will admit some give us a bit more of a view than others but generally speaking it is all very rosy.

Well today I’m Thinking Out LOUD about such tormenting thoughts.  So go ahead,  turn up the volumebecause you are about to get a reality check!   To my fellow bloggers:  Sorry I’m blowing your cover today

A few months ago I was asked to speak at our Sectional Ladies Meeting.  Our theme was “I’m R.E.A.L. Are you?”  The acronym stood for Reaching Every Apostolic Lady.   I spoke on what  a real woman looks like.  I’m going to share part of that with you today.  With today’s post, I hope to reach every one who reads blogs and feels a bit intimidated, depressed, or inferior.   Here’s just a little excerpt from my comments at that meeting.  To my male readers:  This was a women’s conference so that was my audience.  Perhaps one of you could come up with a list on your blog for the men .  But then again I don’t think the male mind works quite like a woman’s so it may not even be applicable.

Enjoy, identify, laugh, cry and feel encouraged.  Feel free to add to this list in the comments section.  You are real and so am I!  And so are all those bloggers out there! 

Here are some examples of what it means to be a REAL woman:

Real women:

Slick their hair back and hope no one notices it’s dirty

Have stretch marks

“Lose it” with their families sometimes

Worry their daughters will get pregnant

Start diets on Monday morning and blow it by Noon

ALWAYS wonder if they are pretty

Have messy houses

Worry if their sons are viewing porn

Ask their husband to wear his underwear inside out “just this once” because she hasn’t had time to do the laundry

Say they are going to fast tomorrow and then eat breakfast because they forgot

Have bodies that sag in time

Aren’t living the romance they thought they would

Wonder if other women feel like they do

Have children – then ask, “Why did I do this to myself? I didn’t have to!”

Get depressed

Eat their secret stash of snacks when no one is looking

Have questions about God or His word, but are afraid to ask them – others might think they aren’t spiritual

Appear put together in public and think, “If others saw what is growing in my shower, they would wonder how I got clean”

Crave at least one deep, meaningful friendship with another woman

Are afraid to admit to other women any of the above is true for them